Tuesday, September 1, 2009

My Choas

So I guess im not the best at this blogger thing. It's been awhile to say the least, and there have been some drastic changes I have made in my life recently. I feel need to put it out there.

About a month or so ago, I came to the tough decision that the significant other in my life needed to go. That seriously has been one of the hardest thing i have had to do. I was with them for over a year. I know a year. Crazy how time goes by so fast. I realized I was being held back and that I wasnt happy with myself. So, in with the parents i go. Welcome back to Mesa!! It feels good to be home. Its been too long. Im starting to feel safe again. Although, i will be honest im a little scared to be back. I dont want to fight with my parents like i use to. Its my biggest worry to mess up the relationship that we have now. I love it. Im finally feeling like daddy's little girl again... that went away for a long time because of some of my decisions. Agree to disagree is an awesome tool. It helps keep to the peace and the ones you love. I know if your one of my sisters reading this your saying, "oh my gosh brit your not a little girl anymore", And I know this. All im saying is that im starting to feel the love of my father again. Its been years.
I slowly putting the pieces of my life back together. I noticed my last post was about my dreams/goals. What a good reminder!! So... come the new year back to school i go. Im thinking about a degree in art, music, or fashion. What do you think?

I really miss my sisters. They might not know this but I really do look up to them. I need there comfort and there words of wisdom to get me through. Its because of them I am still here standing tall. I know thats deep but its the truth. Everytime I go down they are there picking me up and building my confidence. This new journey i have started for myself is a whole new ballpark. I AM GOING TO SUCCEED. I have failed too much in my life and I dont want to do it again. So, i am going to do WHATEVER it takes to succeed and to reach my goals. I just wish i had my sisters here as my cheerleaders.


This is just a glimpse of whats going on in my choatic life. I want to be better. I want to be someone that people remember for good things, not stupid irresponsible decisions i make. So, if i have hurt you im sorry. I hope you can forgive me. For this is the start of my new begining. Much love from Bdub.

4 comments:

Grannie Wright said...

Well I for one am glad to have you back home. You have always been your Dad's little girl. He loves you more than you will ever know. This will give you many wonderful opportunities, which I feel you are already on the road to learning. LOve you tons!

Mich n Dan said...

I really enjoyed this post. It was real and I LOVE real. If my blog seems fake please tell me. I like how you said that you are finally starting to feel safe again but that you are still scared to be back home. Home will always make you feel safe, it's not necessarily about the house but the people that are there. And then change is always scary. I am sure Mom and Dad are overjoyed to have you back. Occasionally Dan and I have to agree to disagree too and then you just have to let things go and move on. I didn't think you were silly for saying that you felt like Dad's little girl. I think that we all feel that way sometimes. It sounds like you are feeling pretty good. I am really happy for you. Keep on keeping on girl. Love you tons!

Tara said...

Britny,

Welcome back to the blogging world!

I can remember what it felt like when I moved back home. Into the arms of loving parents, and siblings. I was so humbled. It's funny in life how we try to figure it out on our own and then come back to our family. They are the ones who will really love us, unconditionally, no matter how many mistakes we make.

You said you wanted your sister's advice here goes: DONT GET A CAR PAYMENT. Yes, I am shouting at you. Save $1000 and let Wes help you buy a Geo/whatever you want for a deal. Pay cash. You are in a position where you can actually save money while you barrow mom's car. That would show Wes you learned from all this car nonsense. He would love to help you do that. He will scout craigslist for you.

You are like me, we like to shop and we will shop. And you will not be able to afford all of that, even living at home since you still have many bills.

If you do it this way you will be able to afford to go to school and make your dreams come true. You will not be able to afford it with a car payment. You were not able to afford your last car, so learn from your mistakes. It seems hard to save money and do it the smart way, but it is easier in the long run. Sooo much of life is like this.

You know how much I love you. I hate to see you unhappy, and I felt you haven't been the B we all love and adore for a long time. It will be great to have you back.

Love, Tara

julz said...

BW It was nice to chat on your birthday. I am glad you have come back to mesa and are doing well. Don't ever stop wanting to be daddy's little girl, I never did. I miss my dad so much everyday and your dad is right with you. Do not ever assume they will always be there cause on day they will be gone. Love them while you have them and treat them the best you can. I have tried to be kind to everyone I come in contact with even those that may not be so nice and it has helped me sooo much to like me better. Your family loves you and they really want what's best for you and sometimes we can't see what they do. They will always be your cheerleader and so will I. Go team Wright. Love you