Friday, October 8, 2010

DREAMS AND HEARTACHE!

I must say its been awhile! Many of you know how much I have wanted to be a firefighter since I was very little.. Its always been my dream.. For awhile I gave up on that dream due to the economy.. Well Im here to say Im not giving up on that dream any longer! Im going back to school and I will succeed! I will not stop until I reach the top.. but to change the subject a wee bit..

There is something else on my mind, Something very serious that must be addressed... Im taking a huge leap with this one.. Its about the recent suicides of the 4 gay boys.. My heart goes out to all of their family and friends.. It kills me to know that I was there at one point in time.. Knowing you are different at a very young age, being raised in a religious family, youngest of 7 and having feelings so deeply unexplainable was really hard for me and at times it still is.. I know killing myself isn't the right thing to do. Because in the midst of it all, I know my family loves me. I have lost friends over "coming out of the closet" and I know people dont look at me the same.. and it has taken me along time to get over those losses and changes but you gotta remember you have a beautiful life to live and keep moving forward. I know who I am now. I am happy. I love all, for God IS love!
If you disagree with my way of thinking that is ok.. I still love you. And you need to know Im not trying to change you so please dont try to change me. I love you the way you are.
For those who are having a hard time and are still "in the closet" just know you ARE NOT alone! As my beauitful Auntie Lizzy J always tells me, " YOU ARE AN EAGLE BY DAMN!"

FLY HIGH AND DONT LET ANYONE BRING YOU DOWN!

LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT!

16 comments:

Grannie Wright said...

Surprise, bet you didnt think I would have seen this blog. What a contrast from your last blog. Your mother is crying after reading this blog. It wasnt anything new but it does hurt everytime you remind us of your choices. Everyone has to chose. Gay people are so selfish. They only think nof themselves and their struggles. I dont know where that came from in your case because you were raised by a mother who was kind,compassionate and forgiving. You play the doubble bind. If we show love and restraint, you take it as acceptance of your life style ( which is is not.) If we bear testimony of the gospel truth and oppose you you say we are unkind and dont love you. no win for us. that a terrible thing to do to people Brit. We'll keep a light on Brit, someday you might realize your in the dark. Love Dad. (and I know what love is)

Mindy said...

Britt I love you to death.. No matter what gay or straight you will always be one of my bestfriends.. You love everyone for who they are not for the choices they make.. You have always been a great person threw tough and good times.. Member i am always here for you.. Miss and love you lots girl!

Anonymous said...

Brit, you are a very good friend of mine. I care about you. I do NOT agree with the first comment that was posted on here, and forgive me if I can go on to say that they are ignorant, and selfish themselves to ask of you, or even try and convince you to live in lies just to make them happy. How can one sit there and type such words to you and be such a hypocrite? Everyone does have a choice of what they do say to one another, and I am certain that Love does not force guilt onto another human being for simply being who they are. God is loving and he does accept you, and you will go to heaven. I will pray for you and your family that the selfish person that decided to speak out loud on this will realize that he is the one in the dark. I hope he finds the light. Oh, and Brit, I also know what love is. Very deeply. I know all sorts of love. I know motherly love, sisterly love, daughterly love, friendship love, family love, unconditional love, and Brit, love is not something one would ever even contemplate wether or not to accept you as you are, or force a fake smile!
I love you, I accept you, and most importantly, God accepts you!
Love always,
Your friend,
Mel~

Anonymous said...

ohhh its mel again. I was so much in shock over that comment I forgot to make mention of the fact that what business do they have going on there and posting about their feelings tar-wards you being gay when your post was about being a firefighter and then on to showing your support, and sadness for some young people that no longer are around. And I bet this ignorant naive person also doesn't realize that while yes it is pitiful to take your own life, and that shouldn't have happened, but wake up and see that those very kids dealt with same feeling that caused them to not want to live, that you are trying to inflict on your so called daughter! Because their parents told them they were wrong and didn't feel the way they really do inside, and that they will go to hell and that God will never accept them or love them, they should change and live in lies just to please everyone around them. You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself for even taking away her intent on this original post, just to try and make her feel bad for who she is. Brit, if one is going to continue to place blame on you for causing them to feel the way they feel, then that surely isnt anything you deserve to be subjected to. You are accepted by many people who love you, if your Gay, straight, black, or white.
And always remember Brit, your aunt Lizzy says : "YOU ARE AN EAGLE BY DAMN"
Live your life to make your own self proud and those that chose not to be apart of what makes you happy, or chose to be fake around you will have to be faced with making some choices about what they want some day and face those empty evil thoughts that are telling them to transform a beautiful soul Named Britny! Live and be free:)
Love Mel~

amber said...

I love you B! Personally, I have never met anybody - gay, straight, white, black, ugly, pretty, etc. who wasn't "selfish" about something at one point and time in their life. If being true to yourself is selfish, then by damn, be selfish! Just sayin. Also, most of my friends that just so happen to be gay usually turn out to be the best ones. They are so understanding, helpful, and willing to be there through thick and thin, just like family! You be you and keep doing you!! As you know B, I'm not very religious. However, all of my christian friends have always told me that God loves ALL of his children and understands your strife. Shouldn't your parents give you the same? Love you!

Anonymous said...

I read the comment from your dad Brit...give them time...I too grieved and took the news VERY hard when my lil girl who had been boy crazy all her life, been married, has two beautiful children, decided to go the other way...I was in shock...I was scared, sad, angry but, it didn't take but a few days to realize this is my lil girl...if anything were to ever happen to her, I don't want to ever regret accepting her for whatever decisions she chose in life. I'de be lying if I said I completely accept my daughters choice, but it's her life and her choice and you're a wonderful person, Brit. If that's what makes my daughter happy in life, then so be it. I don't hardly even think about it anymore. I love you and thank you for being such a good 2nd mommy to my g'kids and whatever you and Shannon decide to do in your lives, is ok with me as long as your not boozing, drugging and destroying your health. God Bless you both and I hope some day your parents can put it behind them, as I've learned to put it behind me. No way am I going to regret not being a part of your lives because of your sexual preferences. But, again Brit...give them time. I was there, but fortunately, I snapped out of it real quick, because life is too short...I wouldn't do anything to jeapordize the little time I have on this earth with my kids and family. Enjoy life...Love, Cindy :) P.S. to dad...Shannon's g'mas (my mother)also weaped for days finding out about her little g'daughters decision, but even she is learning to cope with it now...as long as they don't flaunt it..they are very respectful in that way.

Sam Smith! said...

Britny Wright.
I freakin love you!!!
my adrenaline pumping so hard right now that I can't even type what I feel.
you are NOT selfish. No one's identity makes them selfish.
ahhhh!!!!!!! I am soo angry.
you know love. I know love. I love you.
I don't care.
Nobody wakes up one day and says I like (insert sex here) How is it a choice? Society puts people through hell and tries to force them to be something they are not.
Go through the process complete school. I know you can do it. You have this determination this passion that will help you complete this.
I love you.
Love your forever friend Sam

Anonymous said...

did your dad ever stop to think that your mom could be proud of you and that's why she was crying,she's just to scared to tell a self centered man like your father. who only believes in one thing him self If im not mistaken God says that he made you in his image.....He didn't make a mistake in that...God also says that he will only give you what you can handle.....God put you on this earth to show your parents tolerance your dad just hasn't seen it yet hopefully he will soon cause your a WONDERFUL PERSON! i DO believe that your dad was right in saying that you were raised by a mother that was kind compassionate and forgiving she is a wonderful person also,.....your dad just has a ways to come to be the person he should be to you. Give him time and don't hold it against him.....you'll be the one that regrets it. It's hard to see that your parent the one person that should stand behind you though everything could write something so hurtful....he may not be proud of you ( and he should be) but I know I am very proud of you. :) just remember your parents love you even if they wont show you......AND NEVER HAVE REGRETS LIVE EACH DAY LIKE IT COULD BE YOUR LAST. Friends are Family we choose for ourselves. And I know that there are plenty of great friends out there that love you like family I know I'm one of them and brit I'll leave a light on here for you cause no matter what you can always come HOME :)

Love ya B

sarah said...

Juicy! Don't listen to that nonsense. And he calls himself a LOVING father! Uh! I dont even want to waste time commenting on that ****! Matthew 3:16 how dare you slam your daughter like that for all to see. Shame on you Sir! Shame on you: (

Tara said...

Drama, drama, drama. This is really upsetting to me and all the family Britny.

Sorry I can't sit here and listen to these people rip on our Father. I have to defend him.

It really bothers me when people throw around the word ignorant, because aren't we all ignorant of each other's experiences of life? Truly? When they call Dad ignorant aren't they being ignorant themselves? They don't know Dad or anything he has been through in his life. I can assure you, he is not ignorant.

How many men can handle what our mother went through with such love & devotion? I personally cannot think of one man I know who could do what our Dad has done for mother. Has he complained once??? Never. Words cannot express the respect and love I have for him. You should spend more time with him. You could learn a lot from him just by watching, I know I have. He is the best man I know, he loves his children & grandchildren deeply.

And while your 'friends' were judging Dad for a comment he made about a decision which so deeply hurts mom and dad both, did they stop and think maybe he was defending his wife? That's what a lot of this is about, you know. Part of the reason he gets so upset is he is the one who is there when mom is crying over and over about your choices. {I listen to it too}. He is the one who tells her it will be alright.

I mean these people have no clue what an ABSOLUTELY AMAZING person Dad is, and sometimes I don't think you know it either. You are missing out and it hurts my heart.

Just remember who is going to take you in after the next fight you and Shannon have? Where do you ALWAYS go after you and your girlfriends break up? Home. Who will ALWAYS be there? Family.

And though your 'friends' can't see it, we all do love you, B. And you do know it.

Michelle said...

Dear Mel,
How dare you say those horrible things about my father. That was hurtful, and in my opinion it wasn't Christlike at all. I have never known in my whole life a more hard working and selfless man. He loves all of his kids, even if he doesn't agree with her decision to be gay. It's okay to believe what you believe and it's okay for us to believe what we believe. We will just have to agree to disagree. 1 Corinthians 11:11 reads, "Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman neither the woman without the man in the Lord." This scripture shows what we believe. It does not say anything about, woman without the woman or man without the man. I am not trying to force Britny or anyone to be straight but we believe that marriage between a man and a woman is sacred and that a mother and a father play incredibly important roles in raising children. Gay people take this as thinking that we don't like them, but that's not true. I love Britny more than you could ever know, a sisterly love that you may not understand.

Kindra said...

Well I am not sure how much good this post will do since I imagine most of the previous posters will not take a second look at our sister’s post but for anyone that does read this I hope they get far enough down to read my thoughts. I first want to point out something to all of Britny’s ‘friends’ that they probably do not realize. Up until now Britny has used this Blog primarily as a means of communication to her family. If you don’t believe me take a look at the posts Britny has made over the past 2 years and the comments that have been made. With the exception of one person, all of the commenters are blood family. Need more examples, take a look at those that Britny lists as her ‘peeps’. If you really know Britny, you will also know that 12 out of the 13 are Britny’s family.
So (even though it is too late for some of you) before you place judgment on my father about making such a statement on something as wide open as the internet stop and think about what this forum was and to whom Britny was making these statements to. Now, stop and think about the motivation that Britny had for posting something like this to her family, who all have the same beliefs about her choices and that she very clearly knows where all of us stand. I am not sure why Britny did, as I am also sure that Britny probably didn’t expect the responses that she has recieved. How do you think it made us feel to have this somewhat private forum sent up to the world when Britny made the choice to link this post to her facebook account, after my Dad had made a comment. It was only then that the truly ‘ignorant’ chose to attack our father. Hopefully you begin to see our perspective, unfortunately all that this has done for me is caused me to distrust this forum as a line of communication with my sister where my comments meant specifically for her and our family will not be blasted to people that were never intended to read them. But it is Britny’s blog and therefore her choice to do with it as she sees fit.
You must also understand that this is not the only conversations that we have with our sister. Read the other posts that she has made, Britny recognizes and feels remorse for the hurt that she has caused and for some reason continues to re-open old wounds when she knows quite clearly the hurt that is reborn in her family.
I don’t know about the rest of you but Britny, and my Aunt Liz for some reason have never expressed to me that they are happy, quite the opposite in fact in that their choices have lead them to dark places that they regret even going to. That hurts me to know that those I love cause themselves such pain through the choices that they make.
Also, my grandmother, Liz’ and my father’s mom, coined the phrase ‘You are an Eagle by Damn’ and believe me when I say that she is screaming it from the grave when she sees her eagles living like turkeys. It is perhaps the twisting of the meaning of this phrase that caused my Dad to express his feeling in the comment he did. Even eagles can choose not to fly, just ask Britny if she feels like she is flying.
We love you Britny, echoing Tara’s comment, we will always be here when you need to come home. We have missed you at family dinner for the past two months, we hope that you feel welcome to come soon. You know that there will always be loving arms to welcome you in. We want you to succeed. We want you to be happy. We want to feel your love just as hopefully you want our unconditional love as well. Your brother, Vaughn

Unknown said...

The only comment I don't understand is "gay people are selfish"? How are gay people selfish? Everyone is selfish. That being said, I have a just a few comments. First of all Brit, you know I love you but you will never change your views on being gay or how to live your life (and you shouldn't because that is who you are) but if you are not going to change your mind don't expect your family to either. That would be hypocritical. The time has come for you to realize that we only have one life to live on this planet with this family that God gave us, so you and your family need to put your differences aside and start to love one another because you never know how much time you have left on earth. You don't want to burn bridges or severe relationships with your family cause you never know if it will be the last time you see them. That is regret and guilt that you do not want to live with, trust me. I'm not picking sides or anything. You know I love you and you've been a good friend to me but I don't want to see you get hurt anymore. You and your family need to agree to disagree. You are never going to change their views and they are never going to change yours. Just stop living for tomorrow and live for today cause there may not be a tomorrow. Love your family as you want to be loved. Even if they never see things your way, at least you can say you are being the bigger person. Stop hurting and start loving.

Grannie Wright said...

Brit, Vaughn and Shauna are both right. We have to agree to disagree. We love you and life is too short. Live every Day like its your last. Cause less than two years ago it was really almost mine. Thanks to doctors and your father, I'm still here and will always love you!!!!! Love, Mom

julz said...

Brit all I can say Is that I love you and your family. I know how much they love you and I know you love them. I am also close to Liz and I know the love and pain she has had in her life. I know the struggles you both face and I know how hard it is on your family. I also know that Heavenly Father loves you. I have watched you struggle and my heart aches for you. I also know that your family has had their heart ache for you as well. I also know that when you pray and you feel the spirit you know what you should do. Choices we make in this life are not ever easy nor are they left for us to do alone. When you feel the love of your family you also can feel the love the Savior has for you. To be happy in this life is a choice you make. To be happy in the hereafter depends on those choices you made here. As a parent you teach your children what you believe to be right or wrong and it is painful to watch your children make choices that you feel are wrong. It does not change the love a parent has for a child if they feel their child makes the wrong choices. Love and honor your parents as they love you.

The Kents said...

Hey Brit, I liked what you said.... All i need to say is i am sorry, and you know why. I have been thinking about you over the years and wondering how you are doing? We need to get together sometime I would like that. i am glad your not stopping your dream. love ya girl